Continuing our 12-Step journey.
Step 9
We made direct amends to such people whenever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.
Step 9 calls us to action. In Step 8 we worked on our willingness to make amends. In Step 9, we make that a reality.
When we are ready to make an honest effort to make amends to those we’ve hurt, we must keep in mind that those we’ve hurt may not want to hear what we have to say. We need to just open that door and give them the time that they need to accept our apologies. Often, actions speak louder than words. Let our actions do the talking. It may take time, and perhaps may never happen, but don’t get discouraged. Continue the road to recovery and allow yourself to accept God’s forgiveness. Our recovery isn’t decided on the response from others, that is out of our control.
Romans 13:8
“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.”
Before we move ahead, we must complete unfinished business. What if we’re not ready to make amends with someone? Are we holding on to past hurts, grudges, resentments, or how we perceived that person? Everyone changes. We are changing and perhaps they have too. For myself, I’m really struggling to make amends with my father. Our relationship has been broken for many years. I’m not sure that I want a relationship with him, but I am sure that I did things to contribute to our brokenness. I want to take accountability for those things, but I’m still unsure how to approach it.
Step 9 isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s not a box to check off to move on to the next step of recovery. Step 9 is an ongoing process. If we’re not ready to make amends with a particular person, that’s ok. Pray about it, speak to your sponsor or someone you trust. When the time is right, God will work on your heart and thoughts to lead you in the right direction. Continue to work on yourself so you can grow into taking responsibility for your actions to come to a place where you can make amends.
Proverbs 28:13
“People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they turn from them, they will receive mercy.”
Until next week,
Robin
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