Sometimes painful “circumstances’’ return to my memory.
Sometimes God reveals a lesson.
Sometimes God reminds me of a lesson He taught me.
A number of years ago I was involved in a circumstance where I was accused of saying/doing something that I didn’t do.
No one believed my side of the story.
NO ONE…
There were about 3 or 4 women who were involved in this situation. These women were all believers, some were even in full time paid ministry. I didn’t know what to do.
No one wanted to hear my defense….actually, I never even did what I was accused of.
I cried out to God ~ WHY? WHAT am I supposed to do?? Doesn’t MY word matter? THIS isn’t right, God. I am being falsely accused. I am being condemned by “her”….and they believe it without asking ME what happened.
On and on it went….for months.
MONTHS….
Due to the fact that NO ONE believed me I began to HATE.
I HATED the one who accused me, and even began to HATE the ones who believed her.
The definition of HATE is ~
“sense of injury”
“an intense hostility or aversion”.
“a profound emotion of intense dislike or aversion, typically driven by fear, anger”.
THAT was me.
The definition of HATE was my heart.
So….I went to the Lord as we are ‘supposed’ to do. I asked Him for His forgiveness, and I was able to move on….but something just wasn’t quite
‘right’.
A few months later I was doing my morning devotions….I happened to be in the book of Ephesians. I happened to be in chapter 4. Ephesians chapter 4 has the sub-title “Unity and Maturity in the Body of Christ”.
Ephesians 4:31 and 32 were the clinchers…
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving EACH OTHER, just as in Christ, God forgave you.”
Uh oh….sigh.
Oh yes, GOD forgave me, but I had not forgiven her/them.
I told God “NO”.
I can’t do that….
No….No…No.
In a very quiet voice I heard….pray for her and them.
NO…NO…….NO….
I don’t want to do that either…
I CAN’T DO THAT…..
And so began a journey of prayer which led to forgiveness.
I prayed for her family, her marriage, her husband, her in laws.
FOR SIX MONTHS!!!
And then….I was able to pray for her.
It took me SIX MONTHS before I could even utter her name, and then ‘their’ names (each of the ones who refused to hear ‘my side’) in prayer.
And then?
I was healed. No more hate, I even began to love her…and them.
God allowed me to wallow into my emotions, and then His Word healed me.
Wow!!
That happened over 35 years ago ~ I never want that to happen again.
Stay close to the Lord. Read His Word. Keep short accounts of sin. Your life depends on it. Anger is a horrible emotion to hold on to.
-Cindy
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